Chromatica II: I believe it’s in the middle of our voyages as people that things become both terrifying and whimsical at the same time. I felt life was asking the impossible of me, which I think I’m not alone in feeling. So I was scared, but I believe in magic. So, I wrote this interlude as a reminder that my magic was working. I believe that means yours is too.
911: I take an anti-psychotic. I have neuropathic pain and regular trauma responses. In order to keep me safe from addiction I am not permitted to take any pain pills, so I take this instead. Do not take anti-psychotics unless directed to do so by your doctor, as I do not wish to glamorize anguish.
Plastic doll: Pop culture objectifies artists by attributing labels and grouping us into categories. As a result of this, society expect us to perform like the archetypes we’ve created by stealing our narrative from us and attempting to re-write it. Many of us know what’s going on. I am aware, I am a plastic doll. Some people in the world believe I belong to them in a box to play with. It hurts.
Sour candy: I resent that women are often expected to always be sweet or we’re called bitches. This song is an analog for that sentiment, and a polite middle finger.
Enigma: The genesis of Lady Gaga as how I identify is something I’ve grappled with ever since I was 19. I don’t know why I need this transformation to happen other than that the design of Lady Gaga is decidedly rebellious. I can break any stigmas about me at any time because I will constantly transform to escape them. This process by which I exist is a mystery to me, but I’m starting to understand it. I’m even starting to own it. I will always be misunderstood. Because I want to be.
Replay: I refused to not allow this song to be on the album. Sure, I’m the “boss”. But really Chromatica cannot exist without abstract explanation of what it’s like to be triggered if you have PTSD. It’s a replay of all my monsters, not the little ones. And the very thing that has plagued my mind for years, trauma, is precisely the thing that now powers my life force to be braver i.e. this voice I hear – continue to make music although your brain feels like it’s breaking sometimes.
